Surviving The Hurt…You Are NOT Alone

I don’t understand it, but then again I’ve never been able to. All the times in my life that I’ve been hurt down to my very soul, I could never understand how the other person could do the things they had done. I would never treat people the way these hurters do. I want them to hurt as much as I hurt, and it hurts even more because they don’t seem to be hurting at all!

I wish I could say the hurt goes away, but for me it just diminishes some, I stuff it down inside and pretend all is well, because I make a choice to be happy. But other days, it just seems to be piled on top of me and when I’m alone in the house or the car, I break down into a screaming sobbing pile of mush.

I can forgive but I can’t forget. Each time you get this type of hurt it feels like someone’s shooting bullets thru your heart and each time the hole is getting bigger and bigger. The pain feels like you’re loosing blood and you can hardly think straight or function like a normal person and you wonder when your heart is just going to implode because it feels like it’s nothing but a shell now.

Miraculously, our hearts do heal, but there is forever a scar and even if we’ve moved on in our lives, that wound aches every now and then. People always say, ‘what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’, like now you’ve built up antibodies to fight off the attacking force. There is a truth to that, but it makes you tougher, more wary for the next time around, and therefore stronger.

I know feeling alone, fuels the pain as well, and even though I can’t fix anything, I hope you find some comfort that I am here, I have felt the pain and that you are not alone in it.

Death… The Rude Awakening

Death…
Hear the marching of the black parade,
it’s song pulls you closer as your consciousness begins to fade.

Feared by many, welcomed by more…
suffering is over when the grim reaper knocks on your door.

How will we do it, how will we survive,
now that you are gone, no longer alive?

Family and friends gather to mourn,
the loss of their loved one, to be seen never more.

Memories are all the living have left,
we share in our laughter and tears as we face the bereft.

Tears have all fallen, the well has gone dry,
we all must move on, we all must try.

For those left behind a new day has begun,
learning to live without that special one.

You Said You Would Always Be There

You said you would always be there…

But where were you today?

You hung yourself on the playground…

The place we used to play.

We shared each others secrets…

Said we would take them to the grave.

I never would have promised…

If I knew you would misbehave.

You kept your secret from me and now I’m all alone,

Why couldn’t you just call me, just pick up the telephone.

I said I would be there for you, but you never gave me a chance,

Now who am I going to boogie down with at this Friday nights school dance?

You’re a friend I will always remember but I’ll always wonder why…

I don’t think I’ll ever understand and now all I can do is cry.

Your suffering is over but ours has just begun,

Is lying in that coffin really better than laying in the sun?

You said you would always be there…

But where were you today?

In my thoughts and in my heart is where you always stay.